Hey bitches, I’m back, and it seems my absence has made your cold hearts grow fonder. I haven’t forgotten about any of you, and I can certainly tell you haven’t forgotten about me. I’ve heard your whisperings and am here to provide the dirt you’ve been digging for. I’m especially charmed by the copycat blog. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, ninthfloorgossiptoo! ;) As for a certain someone who longs for the days he used to live on the ninth floor, it’s time to sever the ties. Your attempt was admirable, but how could we possibly expect an outsider to dish out the inside scoop?

But this is a gossip blog so let’s get down to the gritty details. 

Tragedy struck the ninth floor, and it hasn’t hit this hard since the poopetrator of ‘09. Our glorious board, defining you niners as the mindless Mario drones you’ve all become, has been torn down. Rumor has it that a suite is proudly displaying said sign after ripping it off faster than a certain blue kirby takes down her opponents. Could the poopetrator be back for a second offense, has a stranger among us done this foul deed, or has one of my own little beasties turned against the pack?

SPOTTED: One naughty niner took our advice and is getting friendly with the new boys. Bravo ;) 

SPOTTED: 905 and mysterious man meat, you both certainly know how to cause a stir. I’ll be watching you two closely.

Lastly, if you have any dirt that you believe is worthy, e-mail me at ninthfloorgossip@gmail.com. And don’t worry, names always stay anonymous. Your secret is safe with me.

Be on your best behavior ;)

Welcome back, ninth floor residents. With new decorations come fresh blood, raw desires, and new dirt.

Get ready ladies (and a couple of you guys). You thought the floor was steamy before with the good guy in room 912, the bad boy in room 904, and the mysterious man meat in room 920, but the market has been restocked. While these three hunks have only been on floor 9 for a few days, they’ve already caught my attention, and probably yours too ;)

Though two of these new arrivals may seem shy at first, their door is always open. As for the other one, head over to the north side for an amazing view of the common and you may just win the key to his heart (and if you’re lucky, his pants.) But don’t worry if you belong to that small percentage who enjoy Georgia O’Keefe paintings on a different level, (if you don’t get that, you cretans, look it up), there is a new pretty lady down the hall who’s worth a shot. Or two. Or three.

SPOTTED: The two JEWsiest people on the floor might end up flipping latkes on a future date. Let’s hope it happens before the Messiah finally comes.

Be on your best behavior ;)

Hello little savages (and not just you Trevor…) Welcome to your next addiction. I know why you’re here. You want the lowest, juiciest, most scandalous scoop on all things floor nine. How do I know your dirty little secrets? Well,  I’m one of you. And I’m always watching. Have a deliciously sinful break.

Be on your best behavior ;)